In April of 2015 I had a minor meltdown.
I was home by myself and felt an overwhelming rush of emotions that resulted in a good 8 hours of self-loathing and depression.
It was a culmination of years of failed attempts and getting pregnant and crazy hormones.
My husband came home from work and spent his entire evening trying to console me. It did eventually work, but it was definitely a dark day for me, and was a stark realisation of how I was really feeling on the inside.
I should also mention that I had been suffering from Gallstones as a result of my weight loss and my attacks were becoming more and more frequent.
On the 2nd of May 2015 I was blue lighted to Wishaw General Hospital with a sever Gallstones attack. I was admitted to the Surgical Receiving Ward and was being prepped for emergency surgery.
The nurse Lynn came and took some bloods from me and I had to provide a urine sample, just to make sure that everything was all in order before they started the procedure. I was told it would be an hour before I would get my results back, so I sent my hubby away to get himself some food.
Minutes after he left, my nurse and the registrar came over and pulled the curtains around my bed. I remember feeling incredibly nervous after seeing the serious look on their faces.
“Danielle we have the results of your urine sample and it would appear you are pregnant”
Well… Of all the things I expected to hear, I can honestly say that was not even on the list. It was so surreal and so unexpected. But when I began to think about it, I had been having some pregnancy symptoms, including nausea in the morning and sore boobs, something that I hadn’t experienced any of the other times.
However, my nurse advised me that the urine sample isn’t always 100% so they would have to wait on my bloods coming back to make sure. She advised that this would show my HCG levels (pregnancy hormone), and we would be looking, based on my last period, for them to be around 500-600 mlU/ml.
So while waiting I called my hubby and told him he had to come back, I didn’t want to blurt it out over the phone.
When he returned I told him our news, as all of the surgical nursing staff hovered nearby to watch his reaction. It wasn’t the fairy-tale setting by any means, but it was a moment in our lives that I will never forget.
While we sat and chatted excitedly about the potential pregnancy, Lynn came over with the results of my blood test. My HCG levels were 32,000 mlU/ml. Significantly higher than the minimum levels Lynn told me was required to confirm the pregnancy. I still have the paperwork with the results on it in our memory box.
So no surgery… And home to celebrate we went!
The next few months were pretty normal. I had my 12 week scan and saw my little button on the screen for the first time. It was wonderful watching our baby grow throughout each different scan. We found out on our 20 weeks scan that we were having a boy, a feeling I had felt since we found out we were expecting.
We were over the moon. We would soon have a son… In fact it would be sooner than any of us would ever have anticipated.
Tags: babies, baby, children, difficulties, family, labour, Love, marriage, MicroPreemie, Motherhood, NeoNatal, NICU, Parents, Preemie, pregnancy, prematurity, relationships