Prioritising My Time
Hi lovelies, hope you’re all well.It took me 20 minutes to get to this sentence and that’s probably the biggest reason behind my month-long hiatus.
My boy, as you all know, is on the autism spectrum and takes up most of my time. As he well should. That is my most important job after all – mummy! He’s my baby boy and I can think of nothing better to do with my time than spend it with him.
With him getting bigger, he’s taken on a whole host of new behaviours – both neuro and A-typical, meaning we have to be extra vigilant and careful with how we prioritise our free time. Like I said, it’s a no-brainer that we spend it on Matthew.
So what kind of new behaviours am I talking about? Well first of all he has become the MOST mischievous toddler on the planet. Climbing anything he can, jumping off of anything he can, being destructive and as of this morning he has discovered how to climb out of his cot! FUN!!!
But that’s all the good stuff isn’t it? That’s all the things we always knew we were going to have to tackle with having a rambunctious little boy.
The other stuff however is a little bit more difficult to navigate. So onto the autism stuff.
Firstly, he has began to self-harm again. Not often enough that it’s a real worry, but often enough for what it is. As well as this, he has began to lash out at others, and by others I mean daddy and I. I’d much prefer it stayed that way but I have a feeling it won’t.
Additionally, he has become more anxious. Again it’s not all the time, but it’s certainly enough to cause him a great deal of stress and upset, which is just awful to see. For example, when an episode of Peppa Pig finishes, he gets so upset thinking that it’s not going to come back on. He shakes and cries uncontrollably and needs his daddy or I to hold him until the next episode comes on.
This is the hardest part of autism for me right now.
Although theses battles are difficult ones, they are all things that make our boy who he is. His love of music and the way he dances on his tiptoes when I play his favourite songs. It’s what makes me love him even more.
Yes it’s hard, of course it is.
Things that are “normal” and mundane to everyone else is often more difficult for Matthew. I wish it wasn’t, but it just means he needs a little more help from mummy and daddy and I’m fine with that.