MARRIAGE – IT TAKES HARD WORK
I know it may seem like this is an easy thing to achieve, but being happy in your marriage takes a lot of work. I’ve been with my husband since High School and so we’ve grown up together, experiencing all of the “firsts” of life together. Sometimes that’s good and other times not so much.
There were definitely periods throughout our marriage when I have been less than happy and I think that’s normal. Life is ever-changing and how you cope with certain situations life throws at you will most definitely make a difference to your relationship. In saying that, the strength of your marriage is determined by how hard you are willing to work to have it. So I thought i’d share my thoughts and opinions on what’s made our relationship strong and ultimately our marriage a happy one.
THE ART OF COMPROMISE
I’ve started with this one because it is by far my biggest trait. I am by no means a very compromising person and I know how that sounds. If I want something done, I want it done yesterday. If I like a certain TV show, restaurant or holiday destination then there is very little that will sway my opinion in any other direction. So this was a difficult concept for me. But here’s the secret… DON’T COMPROMISE.
If either of you feel strongly enough about something then you should love each other enough and have enough respect for one another to trust each others choices. Whether that be taking turns in picking what TV show to watch, or stepping outside of your comfort zone and trusting that your other half isn’t going to be selfish with their choices. That way both parties are happy and you haven’t had to settle for something sub par because you couldn’t make a decision.
LEARN TO APOLOGISE
“It’s not how me make mistakes, but how we correct them that defines us”
This is important. You NEED to be able to say sorry and admit when you’re wrong. Sometimes we get it wrong and being able to hold your hand up and say so is admirable. It is not a weakness to admit you’re wrong, instead your partner will appreciate you admitting that you got it wrong and they will respect you more for it. So swallow your pride and do it.
DON’T GET CAUGHT UP IN MOVIE ROMANCE
I’ve been guilty of this myself at times after watching films like ‘The Notebook’ or ‘Notting Hill’ , whereby the level of romance is through the roof and I’m left feeling bereft. This is not real life people, and while I’d love to think my hubby would walk through fire for me, the reality is, a bouquet of supermarket flowers on a Friday after work is pretty damn romantic and I should be thankful for that.
FORGET ABOUT GRUDGES
“Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”
When you made the commitment to spend your life with someone you also inadvertently sign a contract saying the past is the past and that’s where is stays. You need to remember that the person you married is imperfect, just like you, and so expecting anything more is not only unrealistic, but it’s unfair.
DON’T FORGET WHAT YOU HAVE
“Appreciate what you have, before it turns into what you had”
The biggest killer of marriage and any relationship for that matter, is taking each other for granted. Always respect and appreciate your partner and expect nothing less than that in return.
There you have it lovelies. All I have to give regarding the 17 years I’ve been with my hubby and the 7 we’ve been married. Yes we have our ups and downs and of course we disagree from time to time. But ultimately we love and respect each other enough to work hard at our marriage and appreciate everything we have together. I feel very lucky.