I Wish It Was Easier For Him

I apologise in advance for this post lovelies as it may just end up reading like a crazy woman’s rant, but in order to maintain my sanity in “real life” I need to exercise all of the demons from deep inside my psyche right now!

It all started well. My beautiful niece made her First Holy Communion on Saturday and we had a big family get together to celebrate the occasion. These are always tricky situations because we never know how Matthew is going to handle it. So we come equipped with all of the paraphernalia required for subduing and comforting a sensory challenged toddler, like Ear Defenders, Cuddle Blanket, Dummy, Kindle… and of course chocolate buttons.

He managed pretty well considering the noise and the amount of people around him. I was so proud of my little man.

However…

Just like it happens every other time, the after effects came on Sunday. He didn’t sleep properly through the night and so was grumpy first thing. Followed by lots of meltdowns and refusing to eat.

So it’s Monday now and with it being such a beautiful day my hubby and I wanted to make the most of it and take him to the park. Like usual, we left it till a bit later in the evening so that we missed the crazy rush of “after-schoolers”. This made no difference W.H.A.T.S.O.E.V.E.R!!!

He had the WORST meltdown he’s ever had. We couldn’t touch him. We couldn’t comfort him. We couldn’t help him.

It was awful and resulted in my husband sweeping him up in his arms, holding him tight and carrying him kicking and screaming to the car.

I know that it’s not going to be easy, but it just seems like it’s too hard sometimes. He’s just a little boy and he can’t tell us what’s wrong. I love everything about him, but I really do wish on days like this that I could just take it all away for him.

My heart hurts today.

It hurts because he’s hurting.

D x

6 thoughts on “I Wish It Was Easier For Him

  1. C

    I think taking him to the park is what triggered the really bad meltdown. As an autistic adult myself, I can’t handle doing a lot of stuff the day after a big thing, like visiting Disneyland. I manage the monster that is Holy Week at church because I’m in the choir and choir is a sensory regulator for me. But after I’m finished singing on Easter Sunday morning, I am DONE. Make me do anything strenuous between 12 noon on Sunday and 10am the following Tuesday and I go off like a nuke with SIB, crying, screaming and running away from people. I need at least a day to recover and stabilize. Maybe your kiddo does, too.

    Liked by 1 person

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